I did not wake up today hoping to write about the Trump clan on two separate occasions. I was perfectly happy dissecting my dissatisfaction with Junior’s beard for the world to see and leaving things at that. But then Billy Nungesser went and ruined everything.
See, the Lieutenant Governor of Louisiana hightailed it over to Chennault International Airport in Lake Charles to greet Donald Trump on the tarmac this afternoon. And to mark this momentous occasion, Nungesser decided to really go for it on the accessory front. His item of choice for displaying deference to the Windbag in Chief (and showing that he’s Such a Fun Guy)? Socks. Trump socks. Complete with the improbable hair. Good lord.
Burn those socks, Billy. Rip those fuzzy abominations from your ankles and throw them into the Mississippi River. Take them off tonight, weep bitter tears, and then shove them in the kitchen trash and be done with it. But no matter what you do, don’t wear them again.
Fun Socks have, for the better part of the last decade, slowly shifted from a #menswear thing that internet-addicted young men used to signal that they weren’t too serious about their double monks (they were) to something that politicians use to signal that they’re totally chill men of the people (they aren’t). It’s exhausting, and Billy Nungesser’s tufted version of the trend is peak exhaustion.
It’s time for Fun Socks to die. And it’s time for politicians to stop clowning around to appease a loud, orange, strangely coiffed man who couldn’t care less about them unless they’re feeding his ego or acting for his personal benefit. Fuck all this. And fuck Billy Nungesser’s stupid fucking socks.